7G02 I will not waste chalk 7G03 I will not skateboard in the halls 7G04 I will not burp in class 7G06 I will not instigate revolution 7G09 I will not draw naked ladies in class 7G07 I did not see Elvis 7G10 I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" 7G13 Garlic gum is not funny 7G12 They are laughing at me, not with me 7G01 I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom 7F03 I will not encourage others to fly 7F03x I will not fake my way through life 7F02 Tar is not a play thing 7F01 I will not Xerox my butt 7F01* It's potato, not potatoe (This was used for the second airing, a reference to Dan Quayle's gaff while visiting a school) 7F05 I will not trade pants with others 7F08* I am not a 32 year old woman (To put it another way, Nancy Cartwright is not a 10-year-old boy) 7F07 I will not do that thing with my tongue 7F06 I will not drive the principal's car 7F09 I will not pledge allegiance to Bart 7F10* I will not sell school property (Also used in 7F14 - the only episode so far to use a "repeated" blackboard opening in its first showing) 7F11* I will not cut corners (It actually looks like this: I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS " " " " " " " " " " " ") 7F12 I will not get very far with this attitude 7F13 I will not make flatulent noises in class 7F15 I will not belch the National Anthem 7F16 I will not sell land in Florida 7F17 I will not grease the monkey bars 7F18 I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment 7F20 I will not do anything bad ever again 7F21* I will not show off (This was written in an "Olde English"-style font) 7F22 I will not sleep through my education 7F24 I am not a dentist 8F01 Spitwads are not free speech 7F23 Nobody likes sunburn slappers 8F03 High explosives and school don't mix 8F03x I will not bribe Principal Skinner 8F04* I will not squeak chalk (Bart squeaks the chalk while writing this) 8F05* I will finish what I star (This appears on one line; the rest is blank) 8F06 "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender 8F08 Underwear should be worn on the inside 8F09 The Christmas Pageant does not stink 8F10 I will not torment the emotionally frail 8F11 I will not carve gods 8F14 I will not spank others 8F13 I will not aim for the head 8F15* I will not barf unless I'm sick (Lisa has a blackboard punishment of sorts during the episode; she has to clap erasers) 8F15x I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty 8F17 I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge 8F19 I will not conduct my own fire drills 8F20 Funny noises are not funny 8F22 I will not snap bras 8F23 I will not fake seizures 8F24 This punishment is not boring and pointless 8F18 My name is not Dr. Death 9F01* I will not defame New Orleans (New Orleans complained about the opening song in "Oh, Streetcar!") 9F02 I will not prescribe medication 9F03* I will not bury the new kid (During the episode, Marge wrote "I will try to raise a better child") 9F05 I will not teach others to fly 9F06 I will not bring sheep to class 9F07 A burp is not an answer 9F08 Teacher is not a leper 9F09* Coffee is not for kids (Each line becomes less and less legible; the last line is a scrawl) 9F10 I will not eat things for money 9F11 I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call 9F12 The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee 9F13 I will not call the principal "spud head" 9F14 Goldfish don't bounce 9F15 Mud is not one of the 4 food groups 9F17 No one is interested in my underpants 9F16 I will not sell miracle cures 9F18 I will return the seeing-eye dog 9F20 I do not have diplomatic immunity 9F19 I will not charge admission to the bathroom 9F21* I will never win an Emmy (This was the first episode after 1992-93 Emmy nominations were announced, the first time the show was eligible for "Best Comedy Series", but it wasn't nominated (the show has won "Best Animated Show" Emmys in the past) 9F22 The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy 1F07* All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy (This was not written "line by line" like the others) 1F08 I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause 1F09 I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers 1F11* My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man (A reference to "The Fugitive") 1F10 I will not go near the kindergarten turtle 1F14 I am not deliciously saucy 1F15 Organ transplants are best left to the professionals 1F16 The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan 1F18* I will not celebrate meaningless milestones (This was first used for the 100th new episode) 1F19 There are plenty of businesses like show business 1F21 I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball 1F20 Five days is not too long to wait for a gun 1F22 Beans are neither fruit nor musical