February 13, 2003

10. I'm happy to reunite with my college lover Biff Henderson.
9. Free crackers in the Green Room. Mmm ... Crackers.
8. I can take advantage of low, low New York prices.
7. Uh, couldn't come up with this one.
6. I love the Dancing Itos.
5. I finally get to be on a real network.
4. Your minimum guest payment is the most money I've ever seen in my life.
3. Marge always puts out on vacation.
2. I get to raid your writing staff.
1. Paul and I have the same barber. Give me my money, Letterman. I want my money.